Finding a new balance

Here’s the honest truth. For me, life up to this point has been quite chill. But lately, life has become busy. Busier than I’ve ever experienced before. I mean, if you had asked me when I was in massage school, I would have told you that I was so busy it was overwhelming. Ha! Oh, younger me… So naive. I literally only had to go to school. No job. Just school. After school, I worked for a bit, and then I moved to the Caribbean and basically was on holidays for 5 years. Yes, I went to work and made a living, but mostly it was one big beach/boat/chill out party. Even after I moved back to Canada, I kept that easy going lifestyle. I was a self employed single lady, with very few responsibilities. I’ve continued to travel and move jobs and cities as I please. I mean, even though I recently moved back to my hometown to be closer to family, I just arrived home from a month long European adventure.

Shortly before leaving for Europe, I accepted a part time job working for my family’s company, as a Marketing Coordinator. I love my job as a massage therapist, but it’s hard on your hands. I realized that if I want to keep massaging for as long as possible, I needed to lighten my massage workload. The timing was perfect that this beautiful opportunity came along for me to work in the company that my father built and that my sister now runs, and in a position that I am quite passionate about… even if my knowledge is limited. No worries, though – you can fit distance education college courses into your free time! Sign me up.

That month in Europe this summer was a wonderful pre-new-job gift. Not because I was
stressed and needed to decompress or get away. But because I love to travel and explore this beautiful planet that we live on, and I felt it had been way too long since my last adventure. Considering how chill I felt going in, by the end of my adventure I was even more relaxed. 

I arrived home raring to go. I couldn’t wait to get back into the swing of things and get started on this next chapter of my life. I had massage appointments booked days after I got home, and yoga classes started up shortly after. Then school started, with endless reading and multiple assignments due every couple days. And then I started my new job.

On paper, I had calculated that this new schedule would totally work for me. Ha. Yeah, right. Let me tell you, the chill is gone. I have really never had a job that requires me to think about work other than when I’m at work. My poor brain is constantly spinning now. Is everything done? What do I need to do next? What have I forgotten? Where am I supposed to be right now? Where am I going next? What time is class? What’s for dinner? When is that work project due? When did I eat last? When is that school project due? Where is my phone? Where is my brain?

The first week of school I was so overwhelmed.

My anxiety was through the roof. How could I dedicate myself to all of these different facets of my life, without letting my level of commitment to any of them slip? I want to do everything to the best of my ability. And there is a part of me, maybe my ego or possibly just pride, that wants to really shine within my family company. I don’t mean I want to outshine other people, but rather I want to prove that I can be an integral part of the team. This job is so different from anything I’ve ever done, apart from my social media platform. I want to prove I can do this, and do it well.

It’s funny though. Despite being overwhelmed and completely out of my element, I’m loving it. Not one part of me is wondering why I decided to do this. But what has become very clear to me is that I need to find a way to balance my life. Not just all the jobs, but my physical and mental health and my well-being in general. Those things are so important to everything else succeeding. And in the last three weeks, they have slipped. I’m staying up way too late doing homework. I’m too tired to drag myself to the gym, which I know I need for relieving anxiety and stress. I’m surviving on pre-made meals, and my body is already showing me that this is not the nourishment I need. Probably all of those things have combined and resulted in me getting sick. 

Right now laying in bed, sick, I can see that I need to focus on balance. The past few weeks have proven that I can do this. I just need to do it better. A little less spastic juggling and a little more thought and planning. So I’m compiling a list of plans and strategies for how I will move forward without as much stress. How I can carve out time for self care, in addition to meeting all my school and work deadlines and being fully present at massages and yoga. I’m making this list, and I’m planning to share it with you all, so watch for a blog on all that coming soon. In the meantime, right now? I’m going to sleep.

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Perfectly Imperfect Yogi

I spent a lot of years hating my body before I realized that life is so much better when you learn to love yourself. Read more about me and my journey here.


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